Broken and Bound No More
Recently, Mike & I were discussing what we had thought our lives were going to be like once we grew up. For me, I had never anticipated getting married or having a family. Honestly, I was going to live out west by myself and have a farm. Yep. Just me and the barn animals. Well, I am definitely grown up, definitely married and I have a fantastic family (and I'm LOVING it)!
So, why the vast difference between my adolescent expectation and my current reality?
Because my heart has finally taken ahold of the beautiful truth of Ephesians 2:10. You see growing up, my life was marked by low self esteem and at the core of it the belief that I was unlovable. My heart should have known different. My parents were missionaries and pastors who poured out their lives so that others would know the unending love of their Savior. Yet there I was bound by depression and in the grips of an eating disorder for 8 years. I had even tried to commit suicide when I was 13 years old.
In my senior year of high school a relationship began that was absolutely toxic. I was abused and humiliated by my then boyfriend. Surrendered to the belief that I deserved no better my life seemed utterly hopeless.
It was then at the darkest time that Daddy God placed some incredible people in my life. Chiefly, my husband. We met at a college preview weekend and I was besotted. Angels sang, a spotlight shone, and the voice of God told me that he was THE ONE. The encounter with him that lasted a whole 3 minutes was the light of hope my soul needed. It gave me the courage to break the abusive relationship and it began to scatter the darkness of being unlovable. Within the next six months my life was radically transformed by the hope, the grace, the love of my Daddy God. The powerful lies of being worthless, the destructiveness of anorexia, and the cage of depression were utterly destroyed by the love of my Daddy God.
He has faithfully gathered up all of my broken pieces and bound them together again. Daily my heart bursts out with praise to the One who loved me when I was useless to Him. And my mission is to tell everyone in my sphere of influence about this overwhelming love that can heal any heart.
If you are trapped as I was let me encourage you that there are better days ahead. There is a God who loves you and He has good things in store for you. You are not junk, you are His masterpiece. You are the poetry of heaven written by the hand of God. My prayer is that you would walk in the truth of who you were made to be. You are His workmanship, fashioned for goodness.
You are so very loved.